What is it about the Holiday Season that makes being single 10x harder then any other time of the year? It’s almost like running a marathon. You start the Holiday Season race totally pumped for parties, paid time off, gift giving, lights, need I go on?
☆Ready for the Marathon☆
The race is going smoothly until you start to look around, and cannot help noticing happy couples at ever corner sharing in the magic of the holidays.
And while all the couples are off doing couples things: like holding hands, drinking hot coco by the fire, ice skating through central park, taking selfies kissing under the mistletoe, or finding the perfect tree together, us single folk are left feeling our way through the 7 different stages of loneliness.
☆Why am I single???☆
Stage 1: Confusion – you know you are a great catch with a lot to offer a significant other. This is when the question, “why am I still single” starts to plague your mind. You start reviewing all your past relationships, picking apart what went wrong, and start to second guess yourself.
☆The Family Get-together☆
Stage 2: Anxious – you might be smiling on the outside, but inside your mind is racing. You want to have the right answers to all the questions from family about why you aren’t dating anyone, what happened with the last guy, and how are those online dates? While you are still trying to answer these questions yourself, the questions from others don’t make it any eaisier. Then there are the couples who have been in relationship longer then you have been alive, that try to console you. “You should be greatful for xyz…” That is easy to say when you haven’t slept alone in 20+ years.
Stage 3: Frustrated – at the world in general for promoting and celebrating couples as if they won an Olympic medal. I am not minimizing the work it takes to have a healthy relationship. It also takes a ton of inner strength, confidence, and courage to be single, especially for long periods of time.
Why aren’t we celebrating more singles for having the courage, and self-esteem to say “No” to the wrong relationship?
How many people are silently suffering in abusive relationships, or making excuses for toxic partners because of cultural pressures to be in relationship?
☆True Love.. a Swipe Away☆
Stage 4: Tricked – by dating apps and advertisements that have cheapened the value of finding a soulmate. Swipe Left, Swipe Right, finding love is as easy as an app download, a photo upload, and a few text messages. If this were true, why are the same people still on those sites year after year?
☆Just me.. no plus 1☆
Stage 5: Alone – at places like the company holiday party, the family’s Christmas dinner, the annual Christmas Eve Church service (this is the worst), or watching Home Alone while snowed in, left in seclusion.
Stage 6: Cold – as in that feeling when you walk outside and the icey air whips at your face, without gloves your fingers go numb, and even with a coat you still feel a chill. Humans were made for physical affection, and I am not talking about a hug from your great aunt or a small child. The coziest blanket in the world is no substitute for the warm embrace of a lover, or the feeling of holding hands with your soulmate.
Stage 7: Very Alone – being single on say Valentine’s Day, is not too big of a deal as it only lasts 24 hours. It’s pretty easy to trick your mind into believing it is a special day dedicated to celebrating the invention of Chocolate. The Holiday Marathon however, starts the second we flip the switch on Halloween, and lasts all the way through the New Years Ball Drop.
As Christmas day approaches, I know the Marathon is almost over, (sigh of relief) but isn’t the last stretch always the hardest? At the beginning of the race you have the most energy, and confidence you will make it to the end and maybe even beat your best time. By mile 21 your entire body is aching and your mind starts to work against you. This is the critical point when you need to give it all you’ve got.
☆Think Happy Thoughts☆
If you can identify with any of the feelings I mentioned above and you have made it this far, don’t give up yet!! The finish line is right around the corner. Next week I’ll share 7 strategies to boost your confidence and finish the Holiday season strong!
Happy Nerd Photography